Ballet

I saw a ballerina today. I've never seen one up-close before. Not a real one. Not one that spends a typical workday in a studio practicing adagios and pas de trois rather than in an office somewhere. I could tell she was a dancer by trade... the same way I can pick out a softball player or a gymnast or a swimmer. Her body was lean and long and graceful... not to mention she stood in forth when alternating between tendu.

I've always been fascinated with the human body. How it molds itself to different uses with so many shapes and forms. So when I saw her, I had to remind myself not to stare. But I wanted to! I looked at her feet surreptitiously, hoping she wouldn't notice my curiosity. And they were remarkably well groomed. I think I half expected hammer-toes and blisters. At least that's what they lead you to believe in movies.  She was short even in 3.5 inch heels, and I thought to myself that she'd trained the arches of her feet to curve well above that height. You could see the strength in them, tendons pulled taut over bone...

She was all limb with hardly any torso and her neck was long and slender. I never understood if their necks were a result of their dancing or if the one resulted from the other... but it seems every ballerina looks like a proverbial swan. But unlike the stereotype as seen on tv, she wasn't skin and bones. Every single muscle was honed to a sharp edge from daily use. And although she'll feign fragility onstage, she looked rock solid in person.

All I could think was how flabby and unfit I was in comparison. It's funny... after loosing some of the weight I'd been carrying around with me since junior high, I've been able to feel bones sticking out that where never there before. When I lay on my side I can squeeze my hip bone back to front, feel the contour of the curving illiac fossa and the sharp anterior superior illiac spine. Digging my fingers into my skin, I can even hook the edge of it. I can pinch my shoulder and feel the edges of my shoulder blade. Even more surprising, I can feel the tip of the acromion while before it was round and fat... When my knees touch, the medial epicondyles knock into each other and hurt! And best of all... I can see my clavicals!! (even though, admittedly, only when I look hard).

But in comparison, if I was a deflated elephant draped over a skeleton, she was some sort of feline. Jealous? Yes... Motivated? More so... I wish I'd stuck with my ballet.