Aya!

I can't figure the damn kid out... they don't tell me ANYTHING! I know they're not because they are telling another friend, who is then telling me! It makes me so mad because I feel like I'm on a damn roller coaster. My emotions keep going every which way, and I can't handle it anymore. Sure it presents a great subject to daydream about, but daydreaming just gets my hopes up. When reality comes smacking back into place I see how foolish I've been, then I get embarrassed and hope no one realized my mistake. IE wouldn't it be lovely to meet up and then just happen to fall into each others' arms and voila our romance blossoms? The reality of this is that they're MIA or it's raining or I have to go to work. But back to my point. The point is, I'm sick of hearing news second hand. I want it straight from the horse's mouth or not at all. One minute they're best friends and will tell me anything and the next, some crazy shit is going down and I hear it from a friend of a friend... what does it mean?!?!?!

Green with it

I'm terribly jealous of them. Why do they get them when they were mine? They spend so much time together and seem to get on well... do they talk more than we do? It appears so when they tell me things even I didn't know about. I'm just not all that talkative, and I can't hold up a conversation for the life of me. But I feel so possessive over them. They're mine, okay? Not theirs! I miss them and how we can get on on the best of days. And I'm sad and uncomfortable when it's the worst days... and I love how close we can be. I love that I can occasionally read their mind, and them mine. I love when they put their head on my shoulder, no biggie. I wish I had someone to do that with 24/7... it's so... different. But I don't want them to do that with anyone else. They should find their own person to do that with.

GAAAAHHHHH!!!!

STOP FRIGGIN' WORRYING SO MUCH, GOD DAMN IT!!! I'M SO FREAKIN' SICK OF DEALING WITH YOUR INSECURITIES!!! FUCK OFF ALREADY, WOULD YOU?! YOU THINK YOUR INSIGNIFICANT LIFE AFFECTS MINE AT ALL???? YOU THINK THAT YOUR INFINITESIMAL COMMENTS SERIOUSLY MATTER TO ME????? GOD GET OVER YOURSELF!! THE ONLY THING THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS YOUR INCESSANT APOLOGIZING!!!! SERIOUSLY, IF I DIDN'T WANT TO HANG OUT WITH YOU I WOULDN'T BOTHER TO ASK... SO STOP MAKING SUCH A FUCKING BIG DEAL OUT OF IT!!!! AND STOP FRIGGIN' CHANGING YOUR MIND

GOD DAMN