What's wrong with me...

So I can say with some certainty that I don't like him. But now I'm wondering, what's wrong with me? It seems that every time I start to like someone who may just possibly like me, I stop. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?

Things just feel wrong. Or maybe, everything feels normal when before I had these heightened sensations. Nothing is fun anymore, nothing is exciting. I seem to get bored easily. I don't find pleasure in reading like I used to. When sewing I just want the finished product... well no, I've always just wanted the finished product when I create things. I never care about the process, the journey, of actually doing the work. Still, this just doesn't seem right.

I enjoy running. I enjoy how my body feels to go fast when I first start out. And I love the sense of accomplishment when I'm finished. And the ache in my body the day after. I know I've done something good. The actual running in between the feeling of going fast and sense of doing something good... the time spent breathing raggedly, the stitch in my side, the sweating, the hyperventilating.... not so much. I love when I fall into a rhythm and can zone out, but much of the time I catch myself and loose that beat. I hate when I loose the beat.

I also used to love the idea of traveling to exotic places and seeing things and experiencing adventures, but that doesn't appeal to me anymore. I feel .... content? Is that the right word? I feel content that I may never see anything... No that's not it. Because there are things I want to see and do. Swim in a river warmed by the sun and sleep in beautiful grassy hills (sans bugs please) and climb trees. But these I can do in my own backyard. Or at least... America. What happened to my wanderlust? Maybe I'm just tired?

I don't know...