I want to write a novel. I have so many ideas: a girl who has quasi-psychic powers via a conduit who happens to be a teenage orphan has inherited her father's run down farm and must not only turn the farm around but solve her father's suspected murder! Or, a girl who has always been a bit of a loner, has never known love (or at least never received it from someone else), and has lived in the same old house her entire life (though her parents have since retired, moved... twice, and eventually passed away) and in addition to being an artist dabbles in basic earthen magic... she has a side business... as a matchmaker.
And I'm sure several others, hidden under the skin of my fingers waiting to get out... but how do I put what I see and what I can feel into words? How can I describe it so that those things that make the story so special to me... make the story special to the people who read it.
Maybe I have trouble emoting? I mean, I have no trouble being angry or happy or excited and I'm getting better at being girl-y (these things are seen as strong emotions... having strength aren't they? Even being feminine is a sort of strength), what I can't do -at least with any ease- is share bits of myself. Because of course all my heroines are myself... versions of myself or how I wish I were and who I wish I were with.
God I wish I could just be open and not scared of showing too much. And stop worrying about what others think and just do what I imagine doing in my head. I'm such an idiot sometimes.
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