Lonely

So it's been a while and I feel the need to vent.

I'm officially in Phoenix. Not a place I would have chosen for myself... if I had a choice. My apartment, while large and safe, has bug problems and carpet smells. The front office is never open when I'm home and the fitness center is always closed.

But other than that, I really can't complain.

My job, however, is AMAZING! I am doing the most wonderfully fulfilling work I have ever done in my entire life. I get to manage my own time as I see fit, with minimal supervision. I am able to give myself my own deadlines and turn in my own deliverables according to my own project plan... that I chose to create of my own accord. BUT, I get to tap the knowledge and experience of a woman who has been in the business for over 25 years. If I need to learn something, she will pay for my education.

For instance, I mentioned that I had found a book on social networking in regards to non-profits and she bought me the book! I get to go to a day long grant writing seminar for free! And, she's going to introduce me to some of her connections who will be able to pass on expertise in fields I'm unfamiliar with, like business, marketing, and design!

I want her job. I want to be her! She's my new idol and I just pray I'll be able to impress her! Like right now, I am running behind on my second deadline. I intended to do 2 weeks of background research and then prepare a needs assessment report based on my findings. It's now currently 8 solid pages and I have at least 2 more to go. I've gotta crank those out tomorrow and then have mom look them over so I'm able to turn in a pristine and well edited report.

And none of that... "oh how childish to have your mom edit your papers" crap. Because even professors publishing journal articles have editors and my mother is not only free, but extremely smart when it comes to the written word. So there :P

Anyways, I am so excited for the work I'll be doing! And even though some of it is tedious and boring... it'll all be worth it in the end!

The biggest problem has been having no friends. I get so lonely! And there really haven't been anyone my age around. They're all old women. I do have a handful of acquaintances whom I met at PSO training, though. And they each live between 2 and 6 hours away. I was able to visit one about two weeks ago and go horse riding, even.

But in general I'm so alone.

So when they all wanted to come into town for the weekend, I thought heck yea! let's do it! and had them drive up on Friday. Last night (Saturday) they wanted to do a halloween/clubbing thing which sounded like good fun since I love dancing... but my second thought was how much they would be drinking.

I told them straight off the bat, rule number 1) no puking in my apartment! But what do they go and do? Oh, that's right... get shitfaced and start puking in the club - get us kicked out! So our (my!) night is cut short and we have to deal with drunken drama. God, they are so immature. And of course the entire time they're talking about how living on the Res is so awful, and there is no drinking, and there are no guys... on and on... and frankly, as good as I have it, if I could keep my job but live on a Res, I would. Two girls get to live in the mountains with people their own age and get to be in a community and learn a new culture and language and see the stars.

I'm not complaining, but it would have been nice to experience that, too.

So the whole time I have to listen to them complain, and yes I understand that not all circumstances are preventable... but for the ones that are, they have no reason to be complaining about them. And as for not being able to get wasted on a regular basis... GOOD!

BECAUSE THEY CAN'T HOLD THEIR LIQUOR!

and to top it off, I quote: "The Res is awful, there are no hot men... and sometimes a girl wants a big hard cock in her" [insert giggling]

WTF?

And this wasn't said in a funny, I'm drunk sort of way... or an I'm serious, fact sort of way... no, it was said in a how can I be the most shocking so everyone thinks I'm cool and grown up sort of way. There was nothing genuine about these girls. They are two-faced, immature, attention getters.

And I just wish I could find a friend...

But on a happier note, while at a career fair on a Res about an hour from here, I met a guy who ran a therapy riding stable and who needed help on the weekends! So maybe I'll have the chance to work with horses and meet some people with less superfluous interests at the same time!