Wednesday, June 13, 2012

The sum of two parts...

Dear Lord,

I am so emotionally congested. There is so much going on inside my head, I can't process all of it. I want to tell someone how I feel, but no one wants to listen. I understand... it's not their fault. I wouldn't want to listen to me either (and I have to). Lord, please help me find someone who will listen to me and not judge me or interrupt or change the subject or ignore whatever I say. I need someone now, Lord. I never did before, but I do now. I can't keep bottling things up when they need to be expressed. I need someone to empathize with me. Someone I can share my excitement with, who won't be jealous. Someone I can share my fears with, who won't brush them off as irrational.

I wrote this when I was feeling particularly stuffed up: 

I've tricked myself into believing I'm comforted by your voice
when it's only desperation confusing my only choice.
I spend too much time wishing and hoping that my life has become a string of dreams
rather than realities.
You don't love me more than you love you,
you don't know me enough to know I love you, too.
You don't listen when you hear me speak the truth and the truth of it is,
this is it.
I tell myself to get over what you do to me,
but I'm desperate and scared and lonely.

I think that sums it up...

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