Oh Lord

Dear Lord

Yet again I find myself writing for your help and advice. The H has decided to befriend me again.... whoopee! And since the start of our "making up," I have been on edge and negative. I don't want to be their friend again. I really don't. Everything they say is negative or mean or lined with a hidden meaning... even if it isn't... that's how I'm taking it. Because that's what I've become accustom to and I know people don't change. I don't want to tell them anything personal about my life because they'll either A) ignore it and move on B) criticize it or C) want to delve deeper and I hate sharing my feelings.

What I really want, Lord, is to move! I want that job in DC and I want to pack up my stuff today and get out of this house. Thank you, that my parents are leaving for two weeks. This will give me two weeks of stress free living... but what I really want, Lord, is my own apartment and all the stress that comes with it!

Please make Billeck and Parkinson contact me this week and tell me that I am A) hired! or B) being called for an interview... after which I will be hired! I need the money to pay off my loans. I need the change in my life...

I'm suffering from ennui, and I feel like I'm in a rut. My two friends... BAH haha! My only real friend atm is SD... the others don't include me in anything or care that I try to. So, SD is my only real friend and while they've has stopped being as flaky as they can be, they're still far away and our communication never works well online. I need to meet new people, Lord. I need to "strike out on my own" and find a handful of good good friends. And they have to be interested in doing things: rock climbing, photography, painting, running amok! It's great to have friends who say they enjoy stuff (E) but never do it! I would really really really love a group of people to reenact with... in my new area, obviously (preferably Virginia etc) :D

Please help me, Lord. And I'm all in favor of helping myself, which is why step one: pack up stuff in room... step two: contact both locations again!.... step three (and one of my harder steps): conduct research into companies and job descriptions so I can nail any future possible interviews! and step four: MOVE!!! after which I can then contact some civ. groups to join :D See how simple it is?!?! Now please bless this process, make it happen for me, Lord.