NO EXCUSES

It's the time of year again. Where I wrap up the old year, reflect on my progress and plan my resolutions for 2012. I love this time of year!

This time in 2010, I had finished my first year of a serious lifestyle change. My year of running... and boy did I run! 336.81 miles (give or take the days I didn't record) to be exact. I started with a 13 minute mile and could barely run more than 1.5 without huffing and puffing. I finished with a 10:19 minute mile on average, with my longest run being 8.7 miles!

It's hard to believe that in such a short time I was able to get... fit. I lost 22.25 lbs and 19.5 inches total from my Arms, Waist, Hips, Butt and Thighs. And I was doing it myself, without any diet and without any help - except for a decent pair of running shoes which I realized I needed after my first real race: The Detroit Thanksgiving Day Turkey Trot (which I ran in 2009 in just under 40 minutes). In 2010, I ran a Trot with my sister in Huntington Beach, California. 6.21 in an hour and eight minutes which basically means I cut nearly 5 minutes from the previous year. I was progressing...

But when 2011 came around, I knew I needed another lifestyle change to keep this improvement-ball rolling. I decided to cut back on calories. Not necessarily food choices, just watching what I ate. This, along with kicking off the year with a bang - the PF Chang Rock N Roll Phoenix 1/2 Marathon - was amazing. 13.1 miles and a few pounds lighter really kept my spirits up (I have officially shaved 10 minutes off my Turkey Trot and my 8 miler, too)!

But when I hit a plateau mid year, I came to realize I'd developed a bit of a problem. Bulimia. It was hard to decide if you could call it that, I wasn't even sure what the medical definition of bulimia was. But I'm pretty sure I had some of the symptoms and after watching a documentary I was kind of freaked out.

I binge eat. I always have, but I found a convenient way to get rid of most of the food I'd just stuffed down my throat. And I'm good at it. It came easily after having so many stomach troubles... upset stomachs as a kid, food allergies, gallstones, acid reflux. I can throw up on command. I felt so much better after throwing up.

Now I have a canker sore on my tongue. I worry constantly that my teeth are yellowing or about to fall out. I get depressed when I eat too much, and depression makes me hungrier. So I eat more. Then throw up. But I couldn't stop, because it helped.

It helped to push past the plateau. In 2011, I dropped another 28 lbs and 10 inches all around. I'm in a size 10. I can't remember the last time I was in a size 10. I'm almost certain I skipped from child sizes directly into a 12 my freshman year of high school.

I joined a gym as well. To do weight training and tone up. Losing weight this quickly (even though it seems agonizingly slow) has left me flabby. I've got skin under my arms, dragging from my gut (on top of the gut I have left to lose!!), on my legs. I've gotten rid of a full bra size, but the skin on my ribs is still fatty and loose.

It's gotta stop. The bad habits. The throwing up because I have no will power to say no. The craving for sugar. The flab!!

In addition to 2012 being my Adventure Year, I want it to be my year to shape up, get back on track, and stop indulging myself. I don't want to risk esophageal cancer or a tracheotomy because my stomach acid has worn away my vocal chords (simply having acid reflux already increases my risk... just ask my cousin!).

I'm going to eat only whole foods. No extra sugars, no grains, no dairy, no processed foods. Meats (white, grain fed, farm fresh), Fish (wild caught), Vegetables (no starch like potatoes), Fruits (low sugar), Nuts, Seeds, and Eggs will be my only options. Foods I don't need to cook (think raw veggies). Foods that pack in protein and naturally occurring carbs (think apples, carrots, and nuts) will replace all those awful choices at the supermarket.

I will continue to count calories, but I will be more efficient. I will pre-pack/plan meals and I won't snack (beyond the 4 snacks per day I already allot myself). And I will record these calories on my calendar. Along with workouts.

And I will work out... more. I am training for the Chicago Marathon in October. This means early to bed, early to rise. Running 35-40 miles per week. Cross training by swimming and biking. Weight training and staying involved with canoe club. AND STRETCHING which is extremely important, too.

Mentally I'm going to get over this need for a crutch (the barfing, the pity parties). If I want to see a change I need to put in the effort... that means I need to run a lot farther than the meager 183.99 miles I did this past year. I also need to change my mindset. I need to stay on top of things, not stress over minor details like friend drama and work.

In the grand scheme of things, those are a drop in the bucket. As is my obsession with you-know-what. I refuse to hold on to that, when deep down I'm lying to myself. I will keep my eyes open for potentials, but that isn't a priority yet. Not until October... when I relocate for a more stable, permanent, REWARDING job (think Michigan, New England, Minneapolis, Seattle... Hawaii?? [although I do want White Christmases from here on out]).

I am only going to think positive thoughts. I am only going to attract people who are good for me. I am not going to put up with the kind of crap my Grandmother resigned herself to years ago and my sister has come to expect. I am not going to be cold and stand offish anymore. I am not going to judge people as harshly... as for patience? Maybe next year ;) Haha.

I am going to STICK to this new regime. No slacking. And I will give myself goals so I don't burn out.

Last year was a good year to give it a go. Now that I know it is doable... NO EXCUSES

I CAN DO THIS!!