A Thought

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Twice today alone, in fact, at completely random and unrelated moments. Actually, I don't know what made me think of it this morning but tonight... we were watching Adam (2009) in which a man with Asberger's Syndrome meets a woman and they sort of fall in love. I say "sort of" since I don't think Adam understands the concept of love, and the woman didn't want to let herself fall in love with a man who couldn't quite love her back.

My friend's roommate posed the question would either of us be able to handle a guy with Asberger's. I'm not sure if I could or not... but that isn't really the point. The point is, the guy in the movie was adorable. He made seemingly huge, grand gestures of love simply because he thought to try and help the woman. Well, that got me thinking about my thought this morning, and I decided the topic must be worthy of a post.

This morning I thought to myself that all I really want is to be taken care of. And I wonder if this is true for most women... I can only assume it is. Not necessarily financially taken care of, but in small ways.

When I put my life under review, some of (not all... I'm not that desperate) my most pleasant memories are of men who have "taken care of me." Including memories of my dad, but those I will address in a sidebar and will exclude for the purposes of this discussion.

The handful of memories left when I pull out the ones about Dad range from small things to big, from guys I liked to guys about whom I didn't give a second thought. It didn't matter who or what or why, what mattered (and the reason I cherish these memories) was that someone cared about me. Hence the verbiage - to TAKE  care... It really is the sexiest thing any man can do. And maybe this just means I'm selfish (whatever), but knowing that someone else cares makes me feel amazing, confident, safe, sexy.

And that's all I really want (okay okay, I mean all I really want aside from real life stuff like a job, etc). I love (and hate) the emotional roller coaster of having a crush, because moments when the Man of Your Desires goes out of his way to lavish you with care and comfort makes your heart jump a little. Electric shock waves radiating from where he puts a coat around you (because you're cold) or when he swipes a strand of hair out of your face (because it keeps whipping you painfully in the eye). I'll stop before this becomes a romance novel because I think you get my point.

He could be doing anything... like refusing to let you carry a box even though it isn't that heavy! and he'll raise that blood pressure because instead of playing it casual, keeping his cool, watching a baseball game, or any number of things, he's thinking of you. Sigh...

Which brings me back to Adam. He couldn't relate to other people. He just wasn't hardwired that way. However, during the movie, he spent a fair amount of time doing things for the woman because logically, they needed doing and he wanted to be nice. Like, bringing her coffee because she would be tired after staying out all night with him. Or, washing her windows because she said she couldn't see out. Each and every time, my heart leapt into my throat at how wonderfully romantic and neurotic Adam was.

So when the roommate asked her question, I wanted to ask... Which is worse: a guy who can understand exactly how you feel but doesn't bother or a guy who can't but tries very hard to understand?