It's all just a way....

I was watching Bones and the story centered on Brennan not being able to distance herself from a case that seemed similar to her life. They mention that the brain takes 3 days to adapt, that the world when seen through reflective glasses will appear upside down for three days until the brain adjusts and vice versa when you take them off again. And in the end, the night watchman says, "I got my own story, just like you, just like everyone. I've got my own sad story."

And that got me thinking, I don't want a sad story. I don't want to have regrets.

So, I am a self professed great advice giver. But who listens to me? No one. And I understand the value in making your own mistakes - lessons really sink in that way. It's true, but when the situation results in months of agony, bitterness, and/or brokenheartedness, why not just take the advice and avoid all the mess? I don't understand what drives people to do things that can only turn out bad. Especially if they know it will. Especially if someone can see it happening and warns them about it.

I've always been reserved, conservative, a goody two shoes. Afraid to get drunk, afraid to lose control and trust others to make sure I'm okay. But I'm not afraid to try new things. I'm very adventurous. I love randomness and being happy and living life to the fullest. I'd be the first in line to jump out of an airplane or sing karaoke... even if I'm terrified to actually do it, I'd still be willing to try.

All in all, I think I'm qualified to add perspective. What I mean is, just because I don't slut around or drink or smoke or swear or have other vices that in my opinion are only a crutch for deeper and more personal issues... I can still be a voice of reason and comprehend the bigger picture.

And that's another thing. In a movie I watched recently, the main character finds out all these lies about people she thought she knew and when confronted with "Stop being so rational and tell me how you feel!" she replies "I feel lied to and I feel dirty..."

That's how I feel, a lot of the time. I feel dirty when I have to hear about these things that people are doing to themselves. Allowing people to walk all over them, allowing their insecurities to rule their life, allowing others to influence their opinions and behavior. They aren't gaining experience... that's not what being an adult is. So why do others feel the need to mark these mile stones... and worse, brag about them as if that would make them more popular? (Which is a whole other question: why be popular? that I may delve into sooner or later.)

I'm afraid of chaos and losing control, but most of all I'm afraid of people. They can be cruel and mean and deluded and jaded and begrudging and weak. And I'm not saying that I'm not either.

I frequently have a short temper, I can't tolerate other people's idiosyncrasies, I'm impatient and stubborn... and I have high standards. I have standards for others as well as myself, and I try very hard to live by those standards. When others fall short, I'm disappointed and annoyed.

So, I'm not perfect and I understand that no one is... but in situations where you can only see one side of an issue and someone with a perspective outside the situation, capable of seeing all sides, offers you advice... WHY NOT TAKE IT?

I don't want to pass up living life because I'm caught up in a personal drama. I try my best to see all sides of any problem and work through issues quickly. I like to be positive and I am comforted by my faith...

I don't want to have a sad story when I'm old and gray. I want to have lived a meaningful life where I was able to laugh at all the embarrassing moments, I was able to learn from all the mistakes, and I was able to adapt in as short a time as possible.