My Christmas Wish

Dear Lord

Happy Birthday. Although it probably isn't your true day of birth, I guess it doesn't really matter when that was, so long as the message gets across. And I know as a custom that it's the birthday boy's day to make the wishes and ask for presents, but I have one Christmas wish of my own to make that I really really really want to be granted.

Please Lord, please help my sister. I don't want her wasting her life with her husband. I realize I'm basically hoping she gets a divorce, and it's not that I want that, but if that's the only way the situation can be fixed... please make them get divorced.

Now, like all wishes, one has got to be specific lest the wish is taken too literally or whatnot and results in a worse situation than what one has started with. So... here is my lengthy and detailed wish to be sure I get this right:

Please Lord, make her husband realize the error of his ways in a not so subtle way. Perhaps he will have a horrible boss who treats him the same way he treats my sister. Perhaps my father will have heard the last straw and come to beat him up. Perhaps my sister will put her foot down and walk out on him... (one can always hope). In any case, let nothing happen to my sister (ie... devastating disease, coma, death, etc) and let nothing that happens to her husband be taken out on her (ie... he starts beating her or whatnot).

Next, he will change his behavior permanently. He will get off his fat ass and make his own damn plate for dinner... hell, he will COOK dinner for her on occasion. He won't ask her to feed him while he sits on the couch, he won't ask her to get up and get him another glass of water during a movie, he won't mention aloud that the dog needs to go outside before heading to the bedroom while expecting her to let him out (ESPECIALLY IF IT'S RAINING!!), he won't pout about the fact he can't see the movie he wants and make her feel bad about him being "left out" so that she can't enjoy the rest of her night, he won't boss her around, complain that she's being negative when really she's just being sarcastic and funny, he won't complain about anything really, he'll offer suggestions on things to do like playing tennis or just going for a walk instead of sitting on his rear end and getting fatter by the minute (see sidebar). And most especially, he will value her at every moment of the day. He'll always put her concerns first and never take advantage of her eagerness to please. He'll be less selfish and every time he feels the need to point a finger... he'll point it at himself... FIRST AND FOREMOST.

OR

He will lose her. She'll finally realize that he doesn't deserve her. She'll walk out and never look back. She won't be spineless and take his bullshit. She'll strike out on her own, knowing she has me always and Mom and Dad and even our flaky aunt. And then she'll have Mark. Who (as far as I know), has always loved her. Has a bit of a reckless side and enjoys having fun. Who is committed to serving You and would (as far as I know) live as he is commanded to: "...let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Ephesians 5:33

How else is she suppose to respect her husband if he can't respect her? And although divorce is probably not what the Bible tells us to do... I would rather she get a divorce than deal with him for the rest of her life if he doesn't shape up.

He reminds me of my grandfather, but even he had his chores. And I am more apt to forgive him since he was raised to be the "provider" and my grandmother was raise to be the "homemaker." And frankly, I'm fine with those gender roles if that is how it is going to be. If my sister's husband went to work and provided for them; and my sister stayed home and did the laundry and made dinner and raised the kids (thank You there are no kids added to this equation). Then all would be fine (albeit mind numbing). But it's not like that (and I suppose we have the women's rights movement to thank for that). My sister works 65 hour weeks, 12 hour days and occasional weekends. They chose to live in California, probably the most expensive place in the US. They have two dogs to care for and hardly spend enough time together.

Rather than taking it in stride, he makes her wait on him, hand and foot. He's never satisfied, rarely thankful, and always a baby. He degrades her and she is either powerless to do anything about it or has been so brainwashed she feels it's within his rights to behave that way!!

Sidebar: Is this because of the idiotic belief that women of a certain age ought to be married? And my sister feels like this is her lot in life and/or chose it because she thought she needed to marry so early without finding the right guy???

One would think that with the women's rights movement not only would societies ideas about feminine abilities and gender roles change, but also expectations as well. But no! Although, women can now vote, own property, inherit wealth, and work in any profession they deem of interest; they are still expected to marry and produce children or else be judged a spinster - something to be looked down upon or pitied. On top of that, there is an exceptional pressure for women to look a certain way.

That way being what ever is en vogue for the time period. Most recently slender to the point of appearing anorexic (although thankfully this trend seems to be going out of style in favor of flat chests and wide hips. And what the hell is with the "mormon look" anyway?? Yea, get ready for button ups and straight cuts because I foresee an ugly epidemic... unless of course Natalie Portman's ballerina blockbuster brings back the gawky long necked coat hanger look... one may never know)...

And I feel as if men don't have to deal with this... I for one prefer a guy with meat on his bones. Being that I am overweight and have been morbidly obese in the past, I do enjoy feeling petite. If I can squash the guy with my bare hands, I don't even want to imagine what I'd do in the throws of a passionate tryst (sorry for that image people). Besides that, I don't see weight. I see personality and possibly hygiene/nice teeth (that whole "gift horse" is extremely accurate... a leading cause of heart disease is poor dental health). I don't really notice rippling muscles or washboard abs, and while guys who look like that can be entertaining they are also intimidating, shallow, and self absorbed.

Even though a girl (I am generalizing but I am a girl so I can do that) could care less about appearance, guys seem to require perfection. My point being that my sister is under a lot of pressure. She doesn't need to be getting it from her husband who is hypocritically the size of a whale! And yes, that was an exaggeration and no, he wasn't always like that. But I have the right to say it as I've been in his position and it was awful.

I know what it's like to wake up and feel old, to get to the top of the stairs and be out of breath, to find it difficult to get off the couch or motivate yourself to do anything other than watch TV. It isn't fun. It's no way to live your life. So I have the right to call him out on it (even if it is only in my head).

So, back to my original point. Please Lord, make my sister grow a spine and demand to be treated better, give her the power to walk out on her husband and be with someone 10x better, make her husband grow a pair and lose weight and participate in the marriage or make him sorry he didn't bother to shape up!!

Please Lord, I just want her to live a happy and fulfilled life.