So I've decorated and redecorated my miniature tree, the presents are bought and mostly wrapped, the countdown is counting, and I'm ready for a vaca... but there's no snow and I miss my family.
I do however get to see my sister this Christmas, which is a consolation, don't get me wrong! And I've never enjoyed being nagged by my mother or having to deal with the rest of the family while having to be cheery. So really, I'm not missing much.
But I am missing the atmosphere, the fire, the sounds of football and the smell of ham or turkey or some stew or other in the kitchen. I'm missing the colors; how the night sky is lit up with the reflection of twinkle lights and the moon, so bright it's nearly daylight. How I could go outside and play with my dog until both of our hair is matted with snow... red cheeked and frozen eared. And that feeling of thawing out, when your legs are ice cold and a hot bath makes your skin sting.
I miss wearing sweatshirts and jackets and scarves. I miss snuggling up to watch old time movies like Rudolph and White Christmas with my grandparents, who know stories about all the actors.
I miss sledding. I miss the smell of the space heater in the garage while my dad works on some project. I miss my mom singing along to Christmas CDs as she gets ready to go out to dinner, inserting crude lyrics every chance she gets. I miss being alone but not really alone. I miss blizzards and Egg Nog and skating and skiing and pine trees and Gram's fudge and road slush and roasted carrots and icicles and the sound of the tree clucking Jingle Bells at 6:30 when the timer turns on.
It just isn't Christmas here. Even with my demented little pink tree; and its creepy purple lights, white/silver ornaments, turquoise garland and origami foil star... haha
But I do have presents! I spent all day wrapping them. And sadly most of them are for me :) I used my birthday gift cards to buy myself xmas presents... and it works. If I don't pay much attention to what I'm wrapping, by the time Christmas rolls around, I've forgotten what I got myself and it's just like a surprise!
This morning I woke up to the sound of people talking below me. It felt like I was back home, waking up to the sound of mom and dad in the kitchen. But then I remembered I was here and went back to bed.
I've been so tired lately too. This week was torturous... I got snapped at by my boss via email (she's such a jerk), but then got to meet the director of the program I'm raising money for. We jumped from a $10 million goal, to $50 million!! But he was amazing and had some wonderful stories. I wish I could have followed him back to Hawaii just to hear more... and to learn some Hawaiian martial arts!
And now it's the weekend and I just need a breather but I can't seem to get comfortable. My lower back hurts and stupid me, I decided running nearly 8 miles yesterday would be a good thing. HA! I barely made it and now my legs are sore and my back hurts 10x worse. I'm old and fat... blech!
But hey... at least I made it that far. I need to tack on 5.5 more miles over the next 5 weeks... that's doable right? A little more than 1 mile extra per week until the half marathon on Jan 16. I can do it!! I just need to focus...
What I really need is the little red man with the button that will make me explode if I don't keep it up [that was a reference to a joke only my sister would understand hehe].
1.5 weeks til VACA!!
And tomorrow I'm going to drop in to beginning lindy hop...
Tango on Monday...
...and then??? WHO KNOWS!
But oooo good song! Corazon Sin Cara by Prince Royce... listen to it!
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